"Dineromon": Chapter One

Grecian Corner Restaurant
234 7th Avenue (at 4th Street)
F to 7th Avenue; B67
Reviewed by Andrew Wallace

The Order: I ordered the no-nonsense "Hungry Man": pancakes, one egg, sausage, ham, and bacon. I was initially somewhat torn as to whether to go with the "Lumberjack." I asked the proprietor which one was more intrinsically masculine. He equivocated, laughing nervously while insisting that they were both the same, thereby begging the question, of course, as to why there were two different but allegedly equivalent breakfast options targeted to the same demographic (i.e., tough guys). Upon closer inspection of the menu, however, it became clear that there was at least one crucial difference between the two offerings: the Lumberjack allowed one to opt for French toast rather than pancakes. That clearly indicated that the Hungry Man was the more masculine choice. Not to jump to conclusions here, but could the management have some kind of identity-politics agenda?

The Food: The pancakes were good, but not great. They came with a circular slice of ham draped over them, which was off-putting. The bacon was a bit too jiggly -- and this is coming from someone who has never had a bad piece of bacon, relishing as I do this meat whether it's burnt and crispy or on the undercooked side.

The Drinks: The coffee was quite good.

The Service: We were served by a man I took to be the proprietor. He was very friendly and attentive, avuncular and Mediterranean, exhibiting a willingness to please that perhaps betrayed a bit of insecurity, just the slightest hint of existential terror. He topped off my half-full coffee cup without asking. That's fine to a point, but how am I to calculate how much milk and sugar to add if I haven't made a mental note of how much coffee I had left?

The Surroundings: The Greek-themed murals provided a thematic backdrop to our meal; it wasn't hard to imagine Pericles or Themistocles sitting at the next booth. The booths were cozy; knees touch beneath them. A good second-date diner.

Miscellany: We came during the blizzard of the Millennium, so we had a lot of gloves, scarves, and coats. There weren't any coat hooks. Luckily, there was an empty booth behind us that provided a dumping ground for all our winter wear. Otherwise, we would have been in trouble.